Be Kind and Compassionate Toward One Another

Greetings in the Lord. When I started this email I actually had to look at my calendar. I couldn’t remember what day this was, but soon discovered by way of my calendar that it is Wednesday! Where did Monday and Tuesday go? Sheltered in, have you encountered this phenomena? And then there was the email I read from last week where someone indicated that she and her spouse were thankful that they hadn’t clobbered one another yet. I couldn’t help but laugh and regret that I wasn’t a fly on the wall.

When Kay and I visited the Rev. Dr. Ralph Hoffman for our pre-marital counseling I remember two pieces of wisdom in particular. The Right Reverend Ralph advised Kay and I to be diligent in keeping the chemistry and spontaneity in our marriage. Do not let work, chores and other commitments get in the way of paying attention to one another. Keep the spark alive! 47 years later, the spark is still there. I still get excited running up the front door steps, walking through the front door and announcing, “I’m home,” just as I did when we were first married. Hugs and kisses are always appreciated.

The second piece of wisdom we received might surprise you. Dr. Hoffman stated that he was unaware of how Kay and I dealt with misunderstandings and miscommunications. “How do the two of you argue and settle your disagreements?” he asked. I can’t remember how Kay and I answered that question, but we have maintained high regard for what our pastor said next, “I recommend that the two of you have at least one heated and blistering argument every six months.” Kay and I have done a pretty good job keeping that advice and maintaining that schedule of every six months. Both of us are Scotch-Irish with some English mixed in. We carry no secrets and no grudges, and we deeply love each other.

It was early evening, all four kids were still home, and Kay was preparing supper. I happened to be standing by the kitchen sink. I do not remember what I said or what I did when I happened to catch a glimpse of a mid-sized pot headed in my direction at full speed and perfect rotation. I just did get out of the way. The pot traveled from one end of the kitchen to the other, hitting the wall and and landing on the floor with a loud bang. The kids came running. One of them asked, “What did daddy say this time?” What did I learn from that experience? Kay has a pretty good arm!

By God’s grace, we have never clobbered one another, neither has there been any verbal abuse. What we have always done is practice the grace of open communication and reconciliation. Through the years, our kids learned the value of reconciliation, too, as Kay and I were never afraid or hesitant about embracing one another,and expressing our love and affection for each other. As we approach 50 years of matrimony, I think the Rev. Dr. Ralph Hoffman would be proud of us.

As we watch and listen to the world around us, we recognize tension in the air. As we listen to interviews and press conferences, there also seems to be various opinions about when we might be able to suspend the current stay home directive and get back to work and all of the other things we enjoy doing. Will it be May? The summer? We don’t really know, which drives our anxiety and frustration. Disagreements and misunderstandings are commonplace in relationships, friendships, marriage and even church life. Inevitable. The key to our health and well-being is how we deal with these disagreements and misunderstandings.

All of us are experiencing a different “flight pattern” so to speak. May we be careful with our words and actions, and on the days we might push the envelope a little, let us not forget much less neglect the grace of open communication and reconciliation. I love and respect the theological perspective of the apostle Paul, “Be kind and compassionate toward one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4.32) If more people practiced this simple formula, there would be more peace and cooperation in the world.

As my time with you on this Wednesday comes to an end, may we remain calm in a time of distress, extend compassion to those who are suffering, and pray for the healing of the world. Stay safe! Stay well! As I bid you and your loved ones, friends and neighbors, a good night, call if you need me and remember, if you ever see my forehead wrapped with bandages, you may safely assume that I most likely said the wrong thing (again) and Kay still has a good arm! Blessed are they who know how to dodge and weave. And all God’s people said, “Amen!”

In Christ +

—
Steve Keeler, Pastor